• Sweet jesus, the fucking Minutemen. Did you catch REM on Colber the other night, and he asked them what was the biggest band they’d ever toured with, and they said the Minutemen, “that guy was huge“ . . .
• How to detect photo forgeries.
• Don’t eat anything that doesn’t rot.
• May your life never be the same agian: muxtape. Check out Rex’s muxtape and Chad’s muxtape, and see also the Wired guide.
• I doubt it, but this guy claims to be able to make your rich. Maybe he can at least keep you from being so damn poor.
• Because no matter what, you probably don’t feel guilty enough about your food.
• Note to self: Mod Canon cameras. The decision to switch from Nikon is looking better all the time. I recently sent a pavement-smashed lens to Canon, and they fixed it for free.
• Caution, this might be considered local (not to mention OLD), but from Scott’s post at MB411 we get a crucial question: does a black woman from England get to call herself “African-American” on her Miami modeling gig?
• Hey all you people that keep asking me how to “record a dvd to my computer,” click here.
• The dilemma of humanity encapsulated in a single Q-and-A.
• Ariel’s pictures of the kids he teaches in Beijing.
• Wow, Dave Barry wrote something funny for a change.
• Crazyguyonabike Cycling from Key West to Springfield, Mass.
• A few more “notes to self” which y’all can safely disregard: FiberSpoke (not even sure you can buy this anymore), Make Like Paper (does not sound irl what it looks like on the screen), and how to sew on a button (I have a few that are like hanging by a thread).
• It’s the first of May, the first of May. Outdoor fucking starts today. This song will be stuck in your head for days. Resistance is fulitile.
• Foreign Policy’s Top 100 Intellectuals. Go look, but don’t EVEN vote — come on, you’ve heard of less then 20 people on that list!
• Dean Allen, the guy who made Textpattern, has a blog. Read the one about his dad and the one about embedded video and tell me he’s not great. Also he makes room on his about page to take down Lost.
• % alcohol in various beers. Information you can use.
• Oh, this is just perfect: ‘Stunning’ LEGO® creations.
• This thing is technically an ad, but I don’t care: drop what you’re doing and go watch it. NOW!!

• Cinco de MiMo festival, lots of stuff happening all weekend. Save yourself squinting at the website and drop by Upper Eastside Garden (7244 Biscayne) tonight and grab a program.
• I haven’t plugged movies in a long time, but 4 months, 3 weeks, and 2 days has had quite the buzz about it. Playing at Miami Beach Cinematheque.
• While at it, the Canes Film Festival (that’s with 1 ‘n’).
• Emerging Choreographers Series.
• Tonight: Local heroes The Postmarks play at The Vagabond.
• Shpringsteen, y’all.
• Saturday: Storytelling Festival at the Downtown library.
• BB King at the Bank Atlantic Center.
• The New World Symphony celebrates its 20th anniversary with not the most exiting program of Tchaikovsky and Stravinsky at the Arsht Center.
• Sunday: The Poetry of Seamus Heaney, A discussion (and recital, I should hope), 4 pm at John Martin’s.
• Miami FC fights the Carolina Railhawks.
• Monday: I also don’t normally worry about Monday, but I’ve been asked to inform you that All Scheduled Shows at Studio A are still on As Scheduled. And the next scheduled show is Monday. So. Go show your support. Maybe Studio A should have a big fundraiser night or something.
• And as long as I’m here, Radiohead and Eric Clapton at various joints around town.

Last week, the Miami-Dade commission approved several developments beyond the UDB, and while the developments are still up in the air pending a mayoral veto, this spells trouble. A Time Magazine article very nicely lays out the compromised integrity of various members of the commission (“One of the Lowe’s project’s biggest backers on the commission is Jose “Pepe” Diaz, who is under federal investigation for allegedly receiving gifts from developers whose plans he’d voted for.”), but it also points out a larger point.

Nominally underway is a $10 billion Everglades restoration project funded by the federal government. In actuality, the whole effort is troubled and behind schedule. How, the Time article asks, can South Florida expect such a huge national investment in the ‘glades when we can’t resist paving more and more of it over? (via TM)

Ahh, Florida legislature, how we love thee. Just in the last year you’ve screwed us out of having our votes counted, debated what can hang from the back of a truck, and now this: the good folks in Tallahassee are considering the ‘I Believe’ license plate.

Now, this is an easy opportunity to engage in a little open Christian-bashing — and believe me, I’ll get into that in a second — but let’s consider the central argument against the plate. Sayeth Howard Simon, executive director of the ACLU of Florida,
“[it] sends a message that Florida is essentially a Christian state” and, second, gives the “appearance that the state is endorsing a particular religious preference.”

Well no, it doesn’t do that. Florida has some 200 different specialty tags. Does anyone think the state legislature in any meaningful way “endorses” the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, Florida Memorial University, or NASCAR? Of course not. What we have here is the highly dubious enterprise of the state raising revenue through its vehicle licensing arm. You can question the whole enterprise, but letting it go for the last 200 plates and then suddenly deciding that this one is somehow extra-contemptible is absurd. Of course there is no shortage of folks ready to do just that. But sorry, the state isn’t forcing anyone to get this plate or making it the default choice. And a quick glance at the list of current specialty tags makes it clear that yes, this plate will soon be followed by plates for a plethora of other religions, and maybe even one for us atheists (several folks have suggested a Flying Spaghetti Monster plate). The state’s policy has been clear: it’ll print a plate if it thinks more then a couple of dozen people are interested. No sane person would infer any sort of approval.

There are certain areas where the state should draw the line. I’m personally still horrified every time I see the “Choose Life” plate. Does one of the most agonizingly troubled moral debates of our time need to be reduced to a license plate? Should the Florida Transportation department be used as a revenue collection agency for assholes who harass pregnant women? Don’t I have a right not to be reminded of abortions of all things, when I drive down the road? By any reasonable, objective, standard this plate is a universe more offensive then some silly deceleration of faith.

Oh, about those Christians. Well, honestly: what can you say about folks who want to proclaim their religious belief through so tacky a means? Have you guys read the bible? You know it wants you to stone adulterers and gays to death, right? You’re cool with that. You know your precious pope is helping the cause of AIDS by opposing condom distribution in Sub-Saharan Africa, right? What, you don’t support those things? So, the bible is the word of God or is it not? Yeah… I believe there is a word for you: hypocrite. (That’d make a good license plate!)

As for the rest of us, let’s take a deep breath and go with it, as well as with the other religious plates that are sure to follow. The “endorsement” is non-existent, and remember that separation between church and state is a balance. It says that you trust in God on your money, after all.

• Schubert, Berg and the Lyricism of Vienna, a festival of events (many free) anchored by performances by the New World Symphony (which are not free).
• Opens 4.48 Psychosis at The Naked Stage, a “porthole into the mind of a mentally ill woman.”
• Also opens Handel’s Julius Caesar at Arsht Center and 12 Angry Men at the Broward Center.
• Miami Gay & Lesbian Film Festival.
• Tonight: The Hobo Film Festival starts its US tour tonight at Sweat, 8 pm. (Thanks Lolo)
• Viernes Culturales.
• Saturday: Zen Art Faire at Wallflower.
• Green Living Expo in Ft. Lauderdale (so don’t go).
• Elisabeth Condon: Seuss Dynasty, one of three excellent shows currently up at Dorsch, got reviewed by Michelle Weinberg (but I prefer the Grant Haffner stuff).
• ANR at Upper Eastside Garden.
• Not sure who goes to see Bon Jovi these days (40-something women?), but this Saturday is your chance.
• Sunday: Crap, as always. If so inclined, the Euro Car Show.

Goofy Sony foam commercial shot in downtown. (via Miami Nights/All Purpose Dark)

The new ginger-bread house bridge in Hollywood.

Just passed the third anniversary of this’ere blog (that’s right — old enough to be your blog great-granddaddy), and so I was looking at some site stats, and the above graph struck me. We’re looking at page views per year, and while the numbers may be impressive, the trend is not. Extrapolating the numbers for 2008 out, we get 4,257,150. In other words, the difference between 07 and 08 is smaller then the difference between 06 and 07. That’s all kinds of bad — slowing growth, a gradual leveling off of readership.

On the other hand, this is all a bit of an oversimplification. Growth happens in fits and spurts and most of those come in the second half of the year, for whatever reason. And while my stats program doesn’t track unique IP stats (arguably a more accurate indication of readership), they have been growing more dramatically: 54,522 last May, 210,437 in March. Who knows what it all means.

The Joseph Young House, built by the founder of Hollywood as his residence, is up for sale. The house is from 1925, is a huge 7,200 square feet, and is on the National Register of Historic Places. Asking price is “$2.39 — 2.79 million.”

• We got el grande shaft and they moved the Bead Fest to last weekend, so those of you who have been looking forward to it… well, sorry bro. Damn.
• All weekend, the 420 fest at Churchill’s, with free pot for under 21.
• Sunrise Balloon Race is Saturday and Sunday?
• Tnite: Go on the Secrets of Coconut Grove Twilight Walking Tour if you want, but don’t believe the hype about the “natural air conditioning.” Natural AC is a scam.
• Saturday: Soccer game! ($10).
• Lincoln Road Gospelfest. “Tickets cost five bucks at the door, but if you buy a Swamp Stomp T-shirt for $10, they’ll let you boogie on by for free.”
• Dispose of your junk in an environmentally friendly way.
• It’s “International Record Store Day” and Sweat Records’ 3th birthday, so of course a big celebration at Sweat starting at 7pm, including a performance by Nil Lara and DJ set by Otto Von Schirach. Moves over to Churchill’s 10ish for that 420 thing, performances by Jessee Jackson and Dino.
• Sunday: Best place for a contact high: Earthfest at Crandon park.
• I’m told it’s free admission at Metrozoo if you bring in an old cell phone. But their website is down so you’re on your own.
• Musician’s Forum at NWS, free, 3pm. (And while you’re there check out their construction site — these people do NOT mess around.)
• Attention old white people: Arrested Development plays the Green Apple festival, some sort of “consciousness-raising” thing.
• blissful frequencies/up in smoke at PS14.

Update: Oh right, there’s a big Porn Fest at the Convention Center. Also, cb says “Gospelfest is free and the Swamp Stomp is a separate event over at Jimbos.” I have no idea, read the comments and figure it out.

In front of the building at Meridian and 13th, recently redone. Some sort of Philippe Stark meets the old west meets Japanese traditional thing going on here. I tend to frown on this sort of thing when done to multi-residence buildings.

A fierce combination of soccer and hockey, indoor soccer is played on a small enclosed court with some thin astroturf. It’s much more frantic then regular soccer because of the enclosed space and no stopping (the ball’s stays in play if it hits the wall as long as it’s below the black line). Midtown Stadium Indoor Soccer [Flash site; will play Van Halen Jump really loud unless you mute your speakers before entering] in Wynwood (where the indoor skate park used to be), it’s free to watch or $120 per hour to rent the field, less during off-hours and weekends.

Two co-ed teams that played like nobody’s business, the spectators sitting just behind a flimsy net, flinching as the ball hurtles to within inches of their face. All set to club music. Apparently they’re booked through most evenings (open 24 hours!), so you can just swing by and watch some soccer when in the neighborhood. (Thanks Brook!)

So, we were just talking about the North Miami bagel/deli circuit, and I thought I’d mention my favorite. A little less cramped and hectic then the Bagel Cove and not overpriced like Sage Bagels, Mo’s has that old-school, family-run atmosphere you’re looking for. (There’s a new place up the street at Miami Gardens Drive and 18th Street that’s distinctly not what I’m talking about here.) The food is what you’d expect from a diner, but with massive portions and skewed towards your Kosher stuff. Delicious breakfast specials, massive sandwiches, homemade soup. You get the picture. By 10 am on weekends every table is full, and there’s a line out the door. Service is usually pretty good.

Lox lox lox, and fish, smoked fish.

So, does somebody really want to tell me this isn’t a “real” deli? True, it’s not from the 60s, but cut them some slack. Honestly, I don’t know what to do with any of this stuff. I sort of just admire it while waiting in the checkout line. Note the back of the take-out menu for a list of stuff available to go by the pound: 8 different types of smoked fish, 8 different soups, potato pancakes, knishes, and something called Israeli Health Salad. (Actually, the “Salads” section is a hoot, and features turkey, shrimp, and egg salad, in addition to the ominously titled “Vegetarian Chopped Liver.”)

And of course pastries. And yes, you get a little plate of sweet nibblies when you sit down. Yum! Oh, thanks again to Susan for letting me use her camera!!

Mo’s Bagel & Deli
2780 N.E. 187th St
North Miami Beach, FL 33180 (they say they’re in Aventura, I say no)
305-936-8555

The first of several huge class-action lawsuits against the state’s past Citrus Canker policy has come home to roost. The Miami Herald article deals primarily with the legal technicalities of the case, but here’s the point: The state based its decision to cut down healthy trees growing within 1,900 feet of infected trees on junk science, and didn’t sufficiently compensate owners. Well, now comes the penalty phase — we’re talking hundreds of thousands of trees, and the plaintiffs are talking as much as $5,000 per tree. Tim Farley, who’s quoted extensively in the article (and you can hear audio of him talking some more!) says the Florida citrus industry should pay, “but unfortunately that’s not how the system works.”

Actually, a tax on the citrus industry to pay compensatory damages in these cases would be just a wonderful idea. But they’re not the really really real guilty party here — industry looks after its interests, right? That’s what they do, that’s what they have lobbyists to do, that’s what we expect them to do. The real criminals here are the people that put the 1,900 foot rule into place — the government officials who failed to stand up to the industry, to stand up for residents with trees.

So, what do you do to ensure this doesn’t happen next time, with the next situation? Nothing. You take it, and the next time you take it again. There’s your moral. Now, get out there and plant some citrus trees — they only take a few years to get to fruit-bearing age.

Update: Clarifying the compensation per tree. First of all, that’s what the trial is going to determine. $5,000 is the pie-in-the-sky figure the plaintiffs are starting with, a number to be compromised from, and even then it’s intended to be the upper range. Actual amount would be determined by the size/age/value of the tree, with the majority in any case being under $1,000.